How To Survive High School

When kids are struggling with high school and all the trials and tribulations associated with their time spent in the brightly lit classrooms and hallway lockers, many supposedly sage adults are quick to tell them high school is “the best time of their lives.” As an adult who may or may not be sage, I’d like to make my position abundantly clear: I call shenanigans on these people! High school is not the best time of anyone’s life, and it’s more a game of survival than anything. Here are some of the ways to get through it, and then get on to the truly greener pastures of college and the real world.

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Step 1: Remember that so long as you are of average, or even below-average intelligence, high school only last four years. Four years out of a life where you can expect to live at least into your 80s. It’s just a drop in the bucket, when you think about it. So take comfort in the knowledge that while it seems like it is forever, it really isn’t.

Step 2: You get a lot of time off. As someone who has weekends, but still has to work all summer, many holidays, has no spring break, etc. let me tell you this: enjoy it while you can. Because that’s one of the things that you won’t have, even though life after high school really is better. It’s true: you d miss all the time off. Savor it.

Step 3: Girls: Don’t sweat the small stuff. So what if some stupid girl calls you ugly? You’ll be laughing really hard when, in 5 years, you look her up on Myspace and she has an ugly husband who cheats on her, an unfulfilling life, and has packed on 30 lbs. from unplanned twins. You will seriously enjoy this time in your life, I promise.

Step3a. Boys: Don’t sweat the small stuff. So what if some “jock” shoves you into lockers? You’ll be laughing really hard when, in five years, he blows out his knee playing sports and spends the rest of his time working the docks with his only happiness in life being that 6-pack of Coors Light he drinks every night. You will seriously enjoy this time in your life, I promise.

These are just three small tips to dealing with high school. Another great way is to get some High School Musical ringtones. They’ll spice up your day and remind you that no matter how bad things may be, there’s a great song to keep you going.